If you are reading this and have been a victim of rape or sexual assault and are destroying yourself please stop and think about what you are doing. YOU have NOT done anything wrong and you need to let go of those negative beliefs, you have every right to be happy and to lead a fulfilling and happy life. To destroy yourself is such a negative thing to do and there is help out there and there are people who will support you.
You owe it to yourself to give yourself that chance. You once had your choices taken away but NOW you do have choices you can make, you are not now powerless, you do have control over your own life and you can choose what to do with your life.
Negative thinking will drag you down — positive thinking will give you the chance to heal and move forward with your life. Yes it can be hard to be positive in the face of trauma and pain but try every time you think something negative to counteract it with something positive. To get through rape and sexual assault makes you a strong person but use that strength in a positive way and not a negative way.
Consent means agreeing to do something. When it comes to sex, this means agreeing to have sex or engage in sexual activity. Sex or sexual activity can include sexual touching, oral, anal and vaginal sex with a penis or with any other type of object. If someone does not give consent or feels pressured, scared or is drunk or high, and a person still engages in sex or a sexual activity with them, this is sexual assault or rape. Any sort of sexual activity without consent is illegal whatever the age of the people involved and whatever their relationship.
If someone forces you to do something you do not want to do of a sexual nature, it is never your fault and it is not OK. If this has happened to you, you should report it or speak to someone you trust to get help and support. You may be aware of coverage and discussions about consent in the media.
You may even have learned about it in relationships and sex education. But why it is important? Well, while consent is something we need to be aware of throughout our lives, there is evidence that young people are more likely to experience sex against their will. This means that women and girls are much more likely to be faced with a situation where they have felt pressured or forced to have sex.
The average age that someone most recently experienced sex that was non-consensual sex was:. This means that if someone has been in a situation where they have felt pressured or forced to have sex, it has been as a young person.
The Sexual Offences Act for England and Wales says that a person consents to something if that person:. The legal age for children and young people to consent to sex is 16 regardless of sexual orientation.
However, young people are unlikely to be prosecuted for mutually agreed sexual activity where there is no evidence of exploitation. The law does not affect a young person's right to confidential advice on contraception, condoms, pregnancy and abortion, or their ability to consent to treatment, even if they are under Sexual offences legislation in all parts of the United Kingdom assumes that children and young people under 13 do not have the capacity to consent to sexual activity.
It is illegal for an adult who is in a position of trust to a child or young person under the age of 18, such as a teacher or carer, to have sex with them. The law covers all intercourse, other penetration or sexual touching of a child.
It includes sexual touching of any part of their body, clothed or unclothed, either with a body part or with an object.
It is also against the law to persuade a child to take part in sexual activity, to engage in sexual activity in their presence, to cause them to watch a sexual act including videos, photographs or on websites or to arrange to meet them following sexual grooming.
Sexual offences legislation provides statutory definitions of consent that are relevant in the case of offences such as rape, sexual assault and other non-consensual offences. A person may not have the capacity to consent to sexual activity because, for instance, they have a mental disorder.
In Scotland, consent is defined as free agreement, supplemented with a non-exhaustive list of circumstances in which consent can never be present, such as when the person is incapacitated by drugs or alcohol, or when they are sleeping.
The most common drug used to spike drinks is Rohypnol which has no taste or odour and is absorbed quickly into the body. Always keep an eye on your drink, never leave drinks unattended, accept drinks from a stranger, take your drink with you when you go to the toilet. If you feel slightly drunk only after one or two drinks and this is not normal for you, or you feel a bit sick, then it may be that someone has spiked your drink. If with a friend tell your friend to immediately take you home and stay with you until the effects of the drink has worn off.
If you are on your own or with a stranger tell the landlord or the owner of the pub or club and ask him to call someone you trust. Never ever accept a lift from a stranger who could be the person who spiked your drink. In spite of taking all the above precautions unfortunately people do get their drinks spiked by abusers who then go on to rape the victim.
If you wake up and are disorientated, have a feeling something is not right, your underwear may be dishevelled or removed, you may have unexplained bruises and other injuries, you may feel sore in your genital area, then you may have been the victim of drug rape. It is your choice whether to report this and if you do go as soon as possible to the Police who should take a blood test and urine test and see a doctor whether you report it or not.
The Roofie Foundation provides help and support to anyone who has been a victim of drug rape — and this can happen to men as well as women. Their details can be found in the organisation list below. Criminal Injuries Compensation Authority: Helpline www. Free for victims of crime, Birmingham location. Recent workshops have been for people bereaved by murder, manslaughter, culpable road death, victims of serious sexual assault and serious physical assault.
Family Matters: www. First Person Plural: www. It provides information about how victims and witnesses should be treated within the Criminal Justice System and offers advice for those affected by crime. Information and answers are provided by experienced professionals in the victim support field and this website is completely anonymous.
The Havens: www. Centres staffed by specifically trained experienced professionals who give medical help and advice, counselling, practical emotional support, help with deciding whether to report crime to the Police, advice relating to pregnancy, sexually transmitted disease. Rape Crisis www. Also information and practical advice. Making a statement Making a statement If you are the victim or witness of a crime, the police will ask you to make a detailed statement about what happened.
Collecting evidence Collecting evidence As part of the investigation, the police collect evidence they will need to prove a case in court. Getting information about the investigation Getting information about the investigation You have a right to be kept informed. Charges Laid Laying charges Laying charges When police investigate a crime, they will decide on whether there is enough evidence to lay charges against an accused person.
Summary and indictable offences Summary and indictable offences Criminal offences are divided into two types based on how serious they are. Bail and remand Bail and remand Most people who are charged with a crime get bail, which means they are released until the court case. Going to Court Getting information about your court case Getting information about your court case Find out how to get information about court cases in Victoria.
Summons and subpoenas Summons and subpoenas As a victim of crime, you may be called upon to be a witness in court. Types of courts Types of courts The court the case will go to depends on the type of crime that was committed and the age of the accused person. Getting ready for court Getting ready for court If you are a witness in the court case, you need to get ready for court.
Giving evidence Giving evidence What to do when you have to give evidence at court. The court's decision The court's decision At the end of a court case, important decisions are made about the verdict and any penalties. Financial assistance and compensation for victims of crime Financial assistance and compensation for victims of crime If you have been affected by a crime, you may be able to apply for financial assistance or seek compensation from the offender.
After Court Appeals Appeals A guilty verdict is not always the end of the court process. While the offender is in prison While the offender is in prison Offenders may serve their sentence in a prison or youth justice centre in Victoria.
Parole Parole An offender serving a sentence in prison may apply for parole — conditional release into the community after they have served their non-parole period. Post sentence scheme Post sentence scheme The post sentence scheme monitors some serious sex and serious violent offenders after the end of their sentence to help reduce risks of reoffending in the community. Victims Register — offender information Victims Register — offender information Victims can apply to receive updates about offenders who are sent to prison.
Home The Crime Types of crime Physical assault Physical assault If you experience physical assault, or are threatened with harm, you can get assistance and support.
Charges related to physical assault. Depending on the circumstances, an accused person may be charged with different offences such as: common, aggravated or more serious assault causing injury or serious injury robbery theft of property where violence has been used affray. Understanding the traumatic effects of crime. Witnesses who see someone hurt can also be deeply affected, even if they do not know the victim. On this website, you can learn more about: common emotional and physical reactions to stressful events like crimes suggestions to help you with recovery how to best support a family member or friend how to help a child who has been affected by crime.
What will happen if a physical assault is reported? The person who assaulted you is responsible. Try not to blame yourself for something that someone else did.
You are the victim of a crime. Try not to get down on yourself — remember that you have not done anything wrong. You are a good person. You deserve all the help you can get. Please ask for it. There are rape crisis centers in almost every major city in the U. You may feel like screaming and crying. Try to allow yourself to do it. You have every right to be as upset as you feel. You are not going crazy — almost any reaction or feeling you have is normal. If you do read the details, "try not to picture it or use your imagination when you're reading the words; just try to separate them as much as you can", adds psychotherapist Rita Barnett, who has worked with survivors of sexual violence.
While you might feel tempted to engage in online advocacy, it's worth reflecting on whether you're up to that right now. And a word of warning: While it's tempting to 'hate-follow' cyberbullies and trolls , reading their takes on sexual assault reports can do more harm than good.
Ms Kebede recommends leaning on your support systems, "whether it's your faith, family and friends, or seeking out professional support". You don't need deep pockets to speak to a professional. If you don't feel comfortable or ready to reach out to anyone, the Rape and Domestic Violence Services Australia counselling services manager recommends you consider writing how you're feeling in a journal.
It may sound simple, but practising self-care is particularly important during times of distress. Keeping to your regular routine, getting plenty of rest and exercise, and eating regular meals can help you feel more settled. The Rape and Domestic Violence Services Australia counselling services manager says learning and practising some grounding strategies — which are "geared towards parking the thoughts and increasing focus on the present using their senses" — can also help.
To distract and calm yourself, it's also worth doing some small activities that bring you joy. Get our newsletter for the best of ABC Everyday each week.
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